A past memory

Summary: After Princess Anwen of Cebryn watches her lover Cefin marry another, she reflects on whether following duty or desire is better.

"It is better this way," said the handmaiden of Princess Anwen, as she placed a hand on the princess's shoulder. 

Instead of allowing her comfort, the princess stood up and walked away. “Leave me.”

The handmaiden let go and bowed before leaving the Princess’s quarters.

Once the room retained a silence as similar inside the temple of Azur, tears rolled down Anwen’s cheek. She tasted misery. She pushed a strand of golden hair away from her face. I’ll never be with him. That is my fate, she thought.

She walked to her window with the curtains tied to the sides. She looked down below. The wedding feast within the town square had not ended even though the sun was beginning to set. The town square was covered with flyers of blue and yellow and white. Couples were laughing, dancing, and holding hands while the music of guitars and flutes echoed. 

And in the middle of the square, the man that she loved named Cefin was dancing with his bride Braith, whose hair was decorated with pink and white flowers. The newlyweds were holding hands and kissing. 

Anwen quickly untied the curtains covering the remaining light from the room. Darkness now crept in while Anwen couldn't stop her tears. 


It was about a year ago when Cefin came into Princess Anwen's life.

Cefin was one of the ranchers at Caebryn and a few years older than Anwen. Although Cefin was from the common folk, Anwen was first attracted to his smile.  

Anwen had often wore a cloak in the market. And when the two glanced at each other, Cefin made the first move and introduced himself. Anwen, who was sheltered in the castle and timid but had a curiosity of a cat, slowly opened up to him.

Ceftin often fooled around in the market, like making faces at people behind their backs. Other times Anwen and Cefin raced by the lake and woods.

Despite their social differences, there was nothing different when it came to falling in love. Their feelings were mutual. And thus Princess Anwen felt comfortable about telling Cefin that she was the only daughter to the king. Cefin had smiled and told Anwen that it did not matter and he still wanted to be with her.

Then one night, Cefin had helped Anwen sneak out of the castle and past all the guards.  

And then they stood hand and hand inside the forest. Anwen had sensed the mystical feelings within and the stillness of the lake. Her heart beat rapidly. The princess felt the rancher's rough hand laced against hers, inhaling his scent. Everything that she could have ever dreamed about had come true. 

Anwen had been so close to Cefin. When she closed her eyes, she felt his warm lips brushing against hers. As he let go of her, he had still held her in his arms. 

"Anwen, I never want to let you go," Cefin whispered.

The Princess had been speechless and she didn't know whether to face him or not. She stayed still in his arms, resting her head on his chest while lost in a trance.

Her night had ended like waking up from a dream. The two once again sneaked into the castle grounds before he helped her climb through a window.

Anwen had blew Cefin a kiss. When he caught it, he placed his right hand against his chest. 

She had giggled, never knowing that within the next few days, she was forbidden to meet with him again.


A year passed since that event. Now Princess Anwen stood by the candle light, wiping her tears with a small cloth. Her duties as a future ruler consisted of governing the land of Caebryn with her father, the king.

Someday Anwen was going be the one that the people turned to in a time of crisis. Her duty was to protect her people. 

Thus her fantasies and her pleasures were taken away from her. All she had left were memories. 

The Princess sighed. The curtains were shut. But she still heard the music. The image of Cefin and Braith holding hands came to mind. 

All she wanted at the moment was to be in Cefin’s arms like those days long ago.

But Princess Anwen knew that their social barriers prevented them from ever being together. When her father had found out about Cefin, Anwen was banned from ever leaving the castle without her handmaiden again. The princess suspected that her handmaiden had caused her such misery. 

Princess Anwen could never speak to Cefin again. Of course, she heard about the numerous times the rancher had tried to enter through into the castle grounds, but he had barely made it passed the guards. He had often cried out her name, but Anwen was locked in her room. Then one day his many failed intrusions had halted.

When she was younger, she had often sneaked out of the castle and played in the market place. And when there were wedding festivals, flower petals had glittered the streets along with a crowd of town folks singing and dancing.

Today could have been her marriage to Cefin. After all she had often thought about it.

Would Cefin cherish those times that they were together? Like, when he sneaked into the castle, or when they ran by the woods and the lake? She sometimes asked herself.

Anwen, I never want to let you go. She could almost imagine him whispering those words of long ago. 

Princess Anwen blew the candle light away. The music of flutes and guitars faded. Only the darkness remained. She wiped with a cloth the remaining tears from her eyes. As a Princess, she had her responsibilities, and that included being dutiful to the king and her people. Therefore, such memories of her past pleasures would seize to exist.